She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
