Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
