problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
