So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my shit smells like andre
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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