It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
