Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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