I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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