super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
