I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
