but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
