ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
