it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Drunk is not a location!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
