Can i not drive my cunt home
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
