also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
