a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
