I accidentally had phone sex last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
