the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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