i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
