so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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