dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
