No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
