They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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