you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
