windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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