nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
