I'm jealous of your bromance
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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