Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My bed smells like the plague
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
