C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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