Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
