just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
