She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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