I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
