No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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