nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
