WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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