i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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