I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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