I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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