There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
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