you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
