I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
