We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
