My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
