Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
that's an acceptable place to lick
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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