i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
