Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
