I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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