im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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