He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
