Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
