I want to walk on stilts...naked
He passed out mid-signature
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
