She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
