please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
