after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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