just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
